In Which She Begs

2021 9th - 12th Grade Poetry Winner

Oh how I took for granted
the hand that was offered when I fell to my knees
2020
A sharp sting that I almost felt completely
lost
Completely
numb
2020
Your fingers ghosted my arm trying to reassure me that I would never be alone
2020
Until one day all of that fear actually became my reality
Alone in my room.
With purple walls
and barren carpeted floors
The window cracked open
The cold seeping in
The sweat dripping down my forearm and back
2020
In an oversized white shirt.
That’s stained with perfume and dry shampoo
My hair’s in a bun
Brown tufts sticking out sideways.
Two train tracks intersecting.
2020
Isolation made the old me flee
2020
And it’s not coming back from the depths of my under eye mascara
2020
that formed from nights I forgot to take it off
Even when my mother shook a bottle of witch hazel in my face
2020
Mundane tasks lost within time
2020
Washing a dish
Or taking the trash out filled to the brim with potato chip bags
and empty note pads
2020
They were crumpled up from the thoughts circulating in my head 
2020
In my bed head
2020
No more thoughts
2020
I want the old me back
2020
I beg of you
2020
Do it all again
2020
I am forced
2020